Friday, January 15, 2010

Why would marry couples stay together if one wants to be single the other wants to be married?

If they both knew and the discussion that one really rather be single and the other really wanted to be married no matter what. Why would the one wanting the marriage put themselves through that?Why would marry couples stay together if one wants to be single the other wants to be married?
I would say the one that wants to stay married is afraid of being alone and going through the whole dating process all over again.


And it could be the person is enjoying the financial benefit of being married.





I would say the person that wants to be single is only staying in the marriage because they don't want to hurt the spouse.Why would marry couples stay together if one wants to be single the other wants to be married?
Because it's a colossal ripoff and they cannot emotionally handle it. I do divorces for people like this and it's terribly painful for the party wanting to stay married (because they're not even given a good reason). Lots of hand-holding and trying to get them to be aggressive enough to stay focused on the property division so they don't get screwed there too.
I don't know. If you want to be single, don't get married. I hate divorce. Too many people take marriage lightly and just jump into it. I mean if you one wanted to be single and was completely unhappy then why would the other put him/herself through that. It is all crazy to me. Think people! Don't get married on a whim. It isn't like dating where you can say you want to be married then say oh... I want to be single now.
Sometimes it is just easier to live with the status quo than it is to change. For some people, an unhappy marriage is better than no marriage at all. The real questions are for you:





1. What is keeping YOU in this unhappy, unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship?


2. What are you getting out of staying with him?


3. How is this affecting your children?





As always, try to get into marriage or individual counseling.
These are the sort of issues you should discuss early in the piece - before you get to the point where it becomes a deal breaker. You need to find out whether you're compatible in areas that are important to each of you.





They say that thousands of divorces or breakups need never occur, if couples only got to know each other better first.





There's a good book about it called ';1000 Questions for Couples';. It was written by a guy described as ';Oprah Love Expert'; ... presumably because he has appeared on her show.
In some people's circumstances, it is easier to simply ';exist'; with each other. Sometimes, it's just that they are not ';motivated to change';, because they ';have'; what they want, and tolerate the rest of the situation, as ';they'; would ';lose'; what they ';have';.
Fear of being all alone and unlovable by anyone else. Financial ecurity, a house, a way of life, keeping married friends, appearance to the world, etc.
I don't know why someone would want to be with someone that doesn't love them. If my husband said he didn't want to be with me I'd say good bye. I'm not a prison sentence and I would rather live with someone who wants to be with me.

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